What's Surprised You About Your Relationships?

In this episode, we take a look at what might be surprising shifts happening in our relationships.

Episode Transcript

Welcome back to another episode of Inner Warmup. My name is Taylor Elyse Morrison, founder of Inner Workout and you as always are our expert guest. Thank you so much for being here. Before we jump into the interview, I thought we could do a quick breathing exercise. For whatever reason, I felt like somewhat of a release could be really good. And this could be me being purely selfish, but let's start off with a lion's breath. And if you don't know what a lion's breath is, it's just inhaling through your nose, and then you exhale through your mouth and stick out your tongue. I highly encourage you to let it be loud, make whatever noise you need to. Go ahead and have yourself a release. Let's try it. So inhale. Exhale (mouth wide open). I have like the biggest grin on my face right now, I needed that. I'm going to do it again, feel free to join me.

Well with that release out of the way, let's jump into today's interview.

The question that I'm posing today is what surprised you about your relationships? Let's set a little bit of context with this question. We've been talking about the idea of shifts and shifting. And this month we're focusing on relational shifts. I'm choosing to reflect on this from the lens of the pandemic, the 'panini', the 'panorama', the 'Panda Express'. I'm using that length of time. I know that the pandemic is not completely over, I was just listening to a news podcast this morning about how there's still breakouts happening. But in my little slice of Chicago, I'm starting to be able to see an after and get to hang out with friends again that are vaccinated and spend a summer that feels somewhat normal, after how strange and disorienting last summer was for me personally. So you can put any length of time but that's the time that I'm personally using. And when I think about what surprised me, I really see this container of the 'panini' as an amplifier really. We were going through so much, like if I put myself especially in this time last year, June of last year as a black woman and a business owner, oh, man, that was a lot. I'm getting tears in my eyes thinking about it.

That was a really, really trying time and I only had so much energy, right? And after being on Zoom, while also trying to process the pandemic, and social unrest, it was heavy. And so it became really clear who the people in my life were that were energizing me. Who I felt like I could go to for the hard conversations, the people who were supporting me, strengthening me, challenging me, and pushing me when I needed to. And then who were the relationships that were draining, were just a lot of effort and a time where everything already felt so effortful. So the surprising part to me was to see that it was possible for relationships to get closer when I wasn't seeing a lot of people in person. And also it was surprising to see like, Oh, I actually probably need to let go of this relationship, not because we had a falling out or anything, but just because it was time. And as I was in this time where I was on autopilot, essentially, it just became easy to keep seeing certain people in certain contexts and to assume that that was the way that it had to be. The Panda Express gave time for it to be like, oh, no, this person is still a lovely person. But our we're going down different paths right now. And that's okay. And so it was surprising to see, okay, this person has now become one of my people that I'm going to do life with for the next phase of my life and this person from a previous phase of my life, I'm actually letting go of. So that was surprising to see how things shook out. And then the other thing that not even surprised, but observation that I'm having is, as we exit this this time that has rules unlike anything that I've experienced in my lifetime. I'm a person who's already an introvert, my relational energy feels so, so much more precious.

And so the people that I can pick up the phone for right away, and will drop everything for has become a little bit more of a tighter knit circle because I always aim to be of service and to be a connector wherever I can. But I realized, oh, I can't do that in the same way anymore. And so that's been a shift that I've had to make. And I guess the surprise piece comes in because I'll feel this feeling in my gut, or sometimes in my body where it's like, oh, you don't have capacity to do that for that person right now. This person isn't one of the the people that you've really committed to being there for in this level of depth. And that's difficult and it's tricky to navigate. But as it's popping up for me, even in a work context, I had someone reach out to do something consulting related. And it was like, Oh, I actually don't have space for this right now. Thank you so much for thinking of me. Thank you so much for this potential opportunity. But I don't have I don't have room for it right now. I don't have energy for it right now.

So it's a weird, not always fun surprise game that's been happening with me, where I'm seeing places where I just can't expend energy, if I want to give my best energy to the things that I say that I prioritize. So that's what surprised me about my own relationships. I want to pose the question to you now and give you some time to reflect. And I also want to offer a bonus question, if you'd like.

The first question is what surprised you about your relationships and this bonus question is, how do you want your relationships to shift? Like what changes do you want to see or what changes need to happen from your perspective? Okay, it's your turn to share and to reflect. I'll be back in a few to close it out.

Thank you so much for sharing. I always appreciate your time and your expertise. If you want to continue the conversation head over to Inner Workout's free community. We'd love to hear your thoughts and continue to grow in our self expertise together. Thanks for listening and take care.